Nick Carter: Have We Been Too Hasty In Our Judging?

I: OHEMGEE!!1 Check out the comment in the NC FA post:

I take it none of you has seen anything recent on Nick Carter. Check out the People magazine article from January….

Nick has BEEN to the gym and dieting and in therapy–lost almost 60lbs and is BUFF BUFF BUFF, rocking a gorgeous body. Along with the new body, Nick has been doing a complete re-haul of his mind. Off alcohol with only small relapses for a year now, he has been photo’d reading books–among them Slaughterhouse Five…. He was photo’d coming out of Barnes and Noble with his girlfriend–bags FULL of books!

And there’s the new girlfriend–she’s already been taken to see his family and on tour. She’s friendly enough to be approved of by family AND the other Backstreet girlfriends and interestingly enough–his fans like her. Nick’s turned into a bit of a homebody. So go ahead and make your case against Nick based on decade old personality traits-those created when he was under the influence of alcohol and drugs. But there is a new Nick Carter around–and he’s looking PRETTY GOOD!!!!!

I’m convinced he wrote this.

L: So personality traits created while someone’s under the influence of drogas don’t count?

I: Even if he is BUFF BUFF BUFF – that doesn’t make him any less douchey!! Or take away the fact that he’s Nick Carter. Oh God. But since he’s reading bags FULL of books from Barnes & Noble, maybe we misjudged him.

L: So wait, if Leif Garrett was clean for about five days and came out of B&N with BOOKS UPON BOOKS!!! and dated a chick who wasn’t Nicolette Sheridan or a cracked-out socialite, would that make him less douchey? Would that make his friend less paralyzed? The ultimate test!

I: Let’s remember that if we ever fall off the wagon and our fame fizzles out because we’re too out of control, we just need to be photographed walking out of a B&N with bags FULL of BOOKS and more BOOKS. The idea of NC reading Kurt Vonnegut is like, fling-myself-out-a-window-worthy. YEAH frakking RIGHT!

L: BWAAAA @ us regaining respect by sitting under a tree with apples on our heads in between stacks of books. It’s the only way! Do you think Nick is highlighting important and meaningful passages? He’ll highlight the word “eskimo” in “Moby Dick”!

I: In high school, there was this absolute moron in my grade named Josh. He was a complete jerky jock who sat in front of me in science and got like, 11s on his tests and whatnot. My friend and I used to keep a journal of “Josh Poetry” where we’d pretend that at night, he went home and penned really deep, existential poetry about baseball and keggers and jet skiing. I like to imagine that NC and Aaron Carter sit around at home, discussing their latest B&N purchases and consider starting a book club.

L: I’d like to see some New, Improved Nick Carter poetry. How do you think they’d go? I’d think they’d rhyme. LOL @ Nick and Aaron sitting around a church basement wearing robes and discussing “The Lovely Bones” or Lisa Scottoline or whatever. LOL – their book club is like AA in my head.

I: I’m like, CRYING at the Nick Carter book club. SIGN ME UP! He and Aaron show up early to set up complimentary coffee and some ginger snaps. And people shuffle in and NC’s like, “Help yourself! Welcome!” and they all get settled to talk about a Sue Grafton thriller or “Girl with the Pearl Earring.” I hope NC brings his bag o’ BOOKS everywhere he goes in case the opportunity to be photographed presents itself. He brings it to the clubs, to the grocery store, just out and about. I really have a whole new respect for him. THANKS, People magazine!!

L: I’m enjoying the premise of Nick bringing his BOOKS!!! Every place where his intelligence might be questioned. Someone will scoff at his smarts, and he’ll be like, “How can you say that? Don’t you see my bag FULL of BOOKS?”

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