Up for Review: ZAC EFRON

Does Zac Efron get an F for Fox or Fail?

APPEARANCE: 4

L: I didn’t want to find Zac Efron attractive—but then he started popping up shirtless every ten minutes in High School Musical. But what really sealed the deal for me was when I saw him in 17 Again, and he was actually really funny—and smokin’ fine, grinding up on the MILF in a rumpled tux with a look of sexual intensity. Like…yes plz! I was all “GAH!” My only complaint is that he seems too scrawny at times, but to be fair he just became legal, so he has some time to bulk up and grow a chest hair or two.

I: How old is he? Are we legally allowed to discuss him in such a manner? Let’s say yes. I definitely think he’s pretty and smiley and I enjoyed his aviator shades in 17 Again. SCOFF @ him playing a young Matthew Perry… MP wishes. However, I think his hair is dumb, but the kids today seem to dig it.

PORTFOLIO: 2

I: Those High School Musical movies were sucky, man! I was tricked because somebody told me that it was like “the new Grease.” FALSE! If I hadn’t had those expectations, I probably would have never watched it in the first place. I mean, how harshly should we judge Disney movies? I think it’s hard to begin in such a franchise, though, because it’s almost impossible to break out of that without ending up in rehab or some such. I guess he’s done okay. He’s coming out with a new movie that looks Nicholas Sparks-esque where he falls in love with a girl who works on a sailboat (?). So there’s that.

L: I think Zac Efron is actually stepping out of the HSM stigma gracefully, easing his way into more mature roles. He was in that movie Me and Orson Welles with Claire Danes, who said he was practically the next Leo. Eee! You can do it, Zac! I mean, even Leo did Titanic. Zac just needs to stretch that acting muscle of his. I also enjoy he’s a triple threat (e.g., acting, dancing, singing).

CHOICES: 1.5

L: I’m on the fence about him still seeing Vanessa Hudgins. You see, I like that he’s been true to his lady for a billion years. On the other hand, he’s been true to a MySpace cam whore.  He can do better!

I: I don’t like seeing foxy talent settling down too soon. He’s in his prime! I think he should dump VH and make some impulsive decisions while he’s still young.

PERSONALITY: 2.5

I: I’ve never really seen him in interviews being himself so I don’t know how cool he is. Child stars are always weird. I wonder how real he can keep it. If nothing else, he’s welcome to come to the Ultimate Party and play some pool volleyball wearing his aviator shades.

L: OMG YES @ Zac Efron starting up volleyball in the pool. I want to be on his team so we can partake in wet hugs of victory when we score a point. He’d also be playing basketball in the driveway. And everything he’s doing involves being sans shirt. I also anticipate him constantly doing stuff. He can’t just sit in a lawn chair with a beer and chill; he’d be eating his hotdog while standing and holding a basketball under his arm. I wonder if this would stress me out; I’d feel he wasn’t content with anything. Another downer is I wonder if Zac Efron is old enough yet to appreciate our coolness.

ROMANTIC POTENTIAL: 3

L: Hmm. Well, clearly he appears devoted and into commitment, which seems unusual for a young, rising stud in Hollywood. But I don’t know if has the maturity to recognize and demand substance to his women. I want to see him with someone totally unlike him who challenges him and gives him some depth, not bland VH, who seems like such a typical choice.

I: True. He is committed to someone who grew up exactly like he did, surrounded by Disney phoniness and weird Hollywood adoration. I want him to get with a chick who turns his world upside down! I’d like to teach him a thing or two, or ten. I bet he’d be hot in the sack with a little experience and diversity under his belt.

L: EEE! Zac Efron with his upside world and being taught ten things in the bedroom got me HAWT, man!

SUGGESTIONS

I: I support the new direction he’s taking with his movie role choices! Lose the cheesy girlfriend and don’t be afraid to make a mistake in the spotlight.

L: AGREED! He needs to step away from the kiddie material and start being an edgy, grown-up fox.

FINAL GRADE: 13/25 F

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